Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Terrible idea I love it
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
