Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
