You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How does one acquire holy water?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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