The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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