My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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