i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
