youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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