I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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