i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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