How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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