You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
