hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
