How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
