Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
