The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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