i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
