No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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