i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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