Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
