I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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