She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same