i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??