Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.

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  (540): I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form. http://tfl.nu/y5wx
  Replies (10) Good night (575) Bad night (3318)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick

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  (910): I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick http://tfl.nu/ykrr
  Replies (23) Good night (726) Bad night (5764)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.

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  (312): I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix. http://tfl.nu/qngr
  Replies (63) Good night (4960) Bad night (1946)
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  (805): View more from California

  Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"

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  (805): Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever" http://tfl.nu/wsl5
  Replies (41) Good night (8437) Bad night (1635)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.

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  (541): No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night. http://tfl.nu/zfom
  Replies (6) Good night (2137) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative

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  (603): No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative http://tfl.nu/aljj
  Replies (6) Good night (5589) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.

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  (703): I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench. http://tfl.nu/hb4t
  Replies (11) Good night (2845) Bad night (2003)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  she could've warned me his penis was curved

  (708): View more from Illinois

  ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.

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  (630): she could've warned me his penis was curved (708): ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/vp5d
  Replies (14) Good night (1814) Bad night (4805)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested

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  (720): You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested http://tfl.nu/xmgm
  Replies (5) Good night (3476) Bad night (1060)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.

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  (810): Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor. http://tfl.nu/mqcd
  Replies (8) Good night (1930) Bad night (730)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.

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  (571): My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have. http://tfl.nu/0vrk
  Replies (3) Good night (1165) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?

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  (630): When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is? http://tfl.nu/juj9
  Replies (0) Good night (489) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now

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  (785): The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now http://tfl.nu/v0ez
  Replies (1) Good night (441) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk

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  (904): It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk http://tfl.nu/beqp
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.

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  (816): Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am. http://tfl.nu/m7hi
  Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (133)

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