i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
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If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
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Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.