Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  D3 body, D1 cock

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  (440): D3 body, D1 cock http://tfl.nu/qla4
  Replies (20) Good night (2563) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not

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  (678): i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not http://tfl.nu/pxco
  Replies (11) Good night (2960) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"

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  (816): She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore" http://tfl.nu/r6vm
  Replies (71) Good night (8390) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?

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  (937): He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst? http://tfl.nu/5xe1
  Replies (67) Good night (1709) Bad night (25923)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous

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  (925): We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous http://tfl.nu/vmkf
  Replies (62) Good night (941) Bad night (6865)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.

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  (608): Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap. http://tfl.nu/9p7s
  Replies (8) Good night (3864) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Hopefully she would park on my face.

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  (919): I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there. (1-919): Hopefully she would park on my face. http://tfl.nu/4722
  Replies (21) Good night (6274) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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  (715): Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time. http://tfl.nu/f7ph
  Replies (8) Good night (2134) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.

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  (319): Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours. http://tfl.nu/m0o9
  Replies (19) Good night (3686) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago

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  (817): i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago http://tfl.nu/3uom
  Replies (7) Good night (586) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control

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  (216): i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control http://tfl.nu/rhtt
  Replies (3) Good night (418) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.

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  (315): I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening. http://tfl.nu/i72z
  Replies (3) Good night (525) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.

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  (330): exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun. http://tfl.nu/7m4g
  Replies (5) Good night (554) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...

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  (716): Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them... http://tfl.nu/sjm1
  Replies (7) Good night (369) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...

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  (412): rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea... http://tfl.nu/7e3n
  Replies (1) Good night (308) Bad night (422)

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