Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
