I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
