can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
