Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
