Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
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This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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