mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
