She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
