The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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