her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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