I just made out with a guy for $7.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
