no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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