You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
