i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I smell like Dick and happiness
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize