No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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