I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize