Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
