Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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