I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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