I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize