You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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