All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
