you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
