started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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