is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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