i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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