He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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