it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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