xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize