This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize