is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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