it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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