I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
