I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There r osticjed everywhere
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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