I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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