Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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