just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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