If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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