You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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