The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My liver is preforming stress tests.