Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
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Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.