Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker