the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
no, he came in my armpit
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
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Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
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It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.