I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
