His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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